I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
