i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
