just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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