yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize