I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I said "one day" and that day is not today
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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