Who wears a wallet chain?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize