Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
