Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
