yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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