I can tuck mytits in my pants
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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