is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
