i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
