I need help removing her.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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