Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
