I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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