That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
