you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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