This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
