Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
