is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
