No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
