I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize