she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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