You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
