The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
