omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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