Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
