I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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