Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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