He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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