bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
