I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need moral support for this bender
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
