i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You're like the curious george of whores
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
