Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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