Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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