i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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