Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
