Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
