tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
