i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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