well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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