new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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