Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
