he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
