So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
