omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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