I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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