If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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