I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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