I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
