"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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