I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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