is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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