The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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