The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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