Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
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I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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