I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
