just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
