It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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